1. Please report Monday at 6am for Opening Number Choreography. Trixie from Trixie's Tap That Exotic Dancing School will be choreographing this year's dance to the song "Swinging."
2. When your name is announced at the Opening of the Pageant, please move forward to the center microphone. There will be twine taped to the floor in an X pattern. Place your right foot on the X and speak into the microphone. State the County you are representing and whether you are missing any of your social 6 teeth.
3. Gorilla Grip Glue has been provided to all contestants. It is STRONGLY recommended that you utilize this powerful glue during the swimsuit competition. It does wonders with bikini bottom "wandering."
4. Tuesday is the annual judging of the Bigfoot Festival Art Competition. All contestants MUST take part in judging the art. Yes, we know that only 2 people enter, but this is a vital and interesting tradition of the festival. Last year's winner, Myrtle Suggs and her watercolor of Bigfoot giving Miss 1984 a hickey was beautiful, poignant and realistic.
5. Please be mindful of the papparazzi and their constant stalking. Last year's unfortunate photo of Miss 1969 eating a big Texas Corn Dog nearly brought the pageant to its knees. (Of Course that begs the question as to whether Miss 1980 has ever gotten off her knees).
6. There will be ABSOLUTELY NO HAIR PULLING ALLOWED WHEN THE WINNER IS ANNOUNCED. Any Contestant who engages in this unseemly behavior will do 2 nights in County Lockup and 1 day serving meals at the McAlester Prison during lunchtime.
7. All Pageant contestants must report Monday to the Official Pageant Motel and reside their until Pageant Night. We have chosen LaFontaine's Fauxtel for this year. Please bring your own linens and bed bug spray.
