Monday, May 21, 2012

Happy Go Lucky 'Tards



I don’t really take stock in all the horoscope mumbo gumbo jumbo, but sometimes I wonder….  Horoscope readings for Gemini say that we are like butterflies that flit from flower to flower, person to person, place and thing..  We are easily distracted chameleons who can adapt to any situation.    We wear Happy Go Lucky Leotards. 

When you do a back flip on the balance beam of life, you are flying blind until the last second.  You struggle to find purchase on the precious 4 inches of beam you’re given.  And it IS precious!  Sometimes you stick the landing and sometimes you land sort of wonky with your ‘TARD halfway up your ass exposing your sensitive cheeks.  And that is the secret!   As happy and plucky and adaptive as Gemini appear to be, we are sensitive to the nth degree.  It surprises people when it happens and mortifies us to no end because we don’t like to show that side, and we’re pissed because the judges are not going to give us a perfect 10!

So you fall off.  You consider naked gymnastics, but that would just be creepy and belongs down in that weird part of Tijuana.  You get back up, wiggle your arse’ a little, tug those HGL’s back into place and carry on.  Maybe you paste on some anti sensitivity sugar water/ salve/gluey ointment to make sure that part of you stays snug ,secure and hidden from the world..  The only other option is wearing a sensitive ass hat.  And that would just make you a Pisces.  *Cracking up laughing!  I ‘keed,  I ‘keed….


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU FREAKY, DEAKY GEMINI GYMNASTS!  (And mad love to all you fish out there!)