Sado Bunny

Early Easter am opening at Molly's, circa 1983.....Tired, (hungover?) wait staff schlepping in, having only gone to bed a few hours earlier.   Greaaaaaaat!  Gotta put costume on, get into character and serve food to the good people already waiting in line for the privilege of eating brunch at the normally closed at this hour- Molly Murphy's House of Fine Repute.

Camp Director and I are getting the Front House ready to rock.  Papa Luigi is busy abusing Minnie Mouse over the house microphone to the kitchen, telling the kitchen help she is giving away, ahem, " favors"  for $1.  We are laughing until the GM buzzes up front and tells us to knock it off.  He also asks if the doorman has his Easter Bunny costume on.

"Shiiiiiiit!"  I totally forget he put us in charge of that.    I remember calling the only costume shop in town 3 days earlier.  Fresh out of bunny costumes, but Countess, the Head CW, agrees to let us use the costume her brokerage firm would use for their Friday soiree.  She agreed to leave it in the dressing room on Saturday before she left for the night.

I  run back and find a lumpy, gray mass of matted fur stuffed into a bag.  It smells like 2 day old beer and looks even worse.  The costume only covers the body and the head, requiring some sort of makeup to complete the Easter Bunny look.

I grab the doorman who is pretty new.  Normally Robin the Boy Wonder, he's doing his time at the required, thankless job of doorman at Molly's.  The shit job of the place -one in which you sit outside in the Oklahoma wind and heat, and wait until Camp Director or Little Red Riding Hood decide if you are cool enough to come inside and join the big kids.

Some never made it past the door, and after 2 months, they would suddenly ask to go to the bathroom on a busy Saturday night and never return.  That employee bathroom was the black hole of "I am never gonna fulfill my dream of becoming a Molly's waiter, so I should just skulk away on the busiest night with a 2 hour wait."

Campy and I like the new kid.  His costume is killer, he's kind of funny, and we allow him to come inside occasionally and entertain us in the Front House.  His real name is Chip.  He's almost in.  But we aren't quite done testing his mettle.  No need to allow him to grow cocky.  Plenty of time for that when he gets promoted to Waiter's Assistant- only to realize he's got to be Soup and Salad for the Jaguar Salad Car for 2 months; a job which guarantees he will smell like ranch dressing for days on end and get no dates because of it.

I grab the gnarly bunny suit, shove Robin into the equally gnarly employee bathroom and command him to put in on while I hunt down someone to put his makeup on.  David Eagle, Service Director and costumer to the stars, agrees to put his make up on.   10 minutes later, the scariest looking Easter Bunny EVER in the history of the Universe checks in with us at the podium.  His eyes are rimmed in black, there is some nasty, grayish looking "fur" drawn in large, swooping loops on his cheeks and two white "fangs" protrude from his lower mouth.    His eyebrows are a frightening combination of gray and black.  He definitely has the uni-brow going on.  Someone dubs him "Sado Bunny."

Hearing the opening music, Camp Director directs him to open the doors and begin the madness of Easter Am Brunch at Molly Murphy's House of Fine Repute.  A few hours later during a lull, Campy and I walk out to check on our errant bunny.  He has somehow procured a cigar to complete the scary look.  He looks at us, grabs a few of the candy eggs from the basket and launches them across the very busy Meridian Avenue.  "I got your Easter Eggs RIGHT HERE, little girl, " he proclaims in a gravelly, east coast accent.    We laugh, both at the scary bunny and the comedic stylings of Chip Burch.

Molly's is gone now, but Sado Bunny lives on.  He is always on my mind during Easter.  The hilarious, talented, endearing Chip is one of my best friends.  He always calls me on Easter and repeats his infamous line in his best Sado Bunny accent.  Here's to you, my twisted friend!!!!!!  Best Easter present EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!