Answering one of those surveys people send me on FACEBOOK. What to answer? I am always reticent to answer these and send them back to people. What if my answers are no good? What if it is a trick email instituted by agents of the Shadow Government and they have psychologists grading the answers at the other end? Will I get Kozynskied if any one answer is slightly off the chart of normalcy? I'm gonna do my best, my friends. Let me know if you think any of these are even slightly cause for concern.
Worst Habit? Gosh, I hate to confess this, but I am addicted to rolling the lint roller over and over my ass in front of the neighbor man. This is not really what you think. I am just running late for work and have to roll AND run to my car at the same time.
Tell one weird thing about yourself. Umm, well once in college I was hungover & running late, so I threw on sweats and wore espadrilles. The preppy peeps shunned me, and boys who were trying to date me ended up with serious reservations regarding any future plans of matrimony or breastfeeding their progeny.
Can you cook? I accidentally poisoned my hubs once and now he does all the cooking. Yes! Thank you to the Vons which sold me that tainted hamburger meat. In the short term, those burritos were wicked, but the long term effects are wonderful.
In all actuality, this started waaaay back in Jr high. As a Campfire Girl, I took a cooking class offered by OG&E. Two weeks after the class, we were sitting at the dinner table as my mom perused the obituaries in the paper. She suddenly announced, "Oh, Susie your cooking teacher died last week." She then sighed a polite little sigh which was just as quickly followed by an amused snort from my sister, Kathy. This resulted in the whole sick and twisted Hazelton clan laughing hysterically for about 20 minutes.
What was your dream growing up? I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast and woke up every am at 5;00 to be the next Nadia. Unfortunately for me, I had a growth spurt in 8th grade which included 5 inches of height, some boobage and an ass that wouldn't quit. And by that, I mean it wouldn't quit hanging out so that I could properly balance. Just walking in the sun and seeing that big booty in my shadow was scary enough, much less trying to stuff it in and do cartwheels on a little beam 4 inches wide. Nadia, I salute you and your tight little ass. Now go eat some donuts and leave me to my Olympic Dreams of gymnastic glory.
Negative or Optimistic attitude? Optimistic..except when I step in dog poo - which thankfully does not happen that often.
Ever been arrested? No, but I have friends who have. Once, a really cute undercover detective, who looked like Michael McDonald when he was with the Doobies, asked me out. I think it would have involved handcuffs. Does that count?
Do you swear a lot? I swear each and every time I break down and eat those nasty, greasy, but oh, soooo good meat paste tacos from Jack in The Box, that I will never eat them again. Time passes by, and I forget that heaven in meat paste land = well, you don't need to hear those details.
Favorite thing to do in your spare time? I'd like to say that I feed the poor and save endangered species, but I prefer to hunker down with bargain Harlequin Romance Books with the covers torn off (They're cheaper that way) and a sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies. Perhaps I am contributing in some small way. The little neighbor Brownie has gone to camp 3 times off my cookie purchases alone! (They freeze up real well!)
If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd like to change into a Supermodel on Mondays and Saturdays. I think only doing it two days a week would keep the ugly me humble and appreciative. Plus, Saturday is going out night. Perfect day to be pretty and hot. And Mondays? Well, looking Supermodel beautiful on Monday means everyone will forgive and ignore it if your pantyhose have a run, you are a little late after sleeping in from all that glamorous partying from the weekend and your black pants have dog hair on them. (Think how thrilled the neighbor man will be! Spared at least one day from arse roller running)
Worst thing to ever happen to you? Oh gosh..always when someone dies...And when the Jazz lost the 96/97 nba finals...
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