In this Photoshop world of
perfectionism in images, I found myself recently admiring a friend who had a
really, really honest, unretouched, wild -ass hair, “I’ve just rolled out of
bed,” photo tagged on Facebook. My
friend expressed surprise when I stated that it was my favorite photo. I explained that the photo captured my
friend’s true personality: A charming
blend of brutal truthfulness, slight cynicism and ornery stubborn, desperately
trying to hide the chewy marshmallow center.
"I like it because you look
as if you are challenging ANYONE to have a problem with your look. It’s as if you are saying, 'Yeah? So I just got out of bed. Fucking deal with it! This is ME!'"
In addition, it got me to
thinking about my earthquake glasses and how my inner dork is revealed in the
ugliest pair of glasses ever created. It
made me think of the reasons I own the earthquake glasses in the first place
and the evolution of how a pair of glasses meant for shaky times came to
represent my deepest fears and true self.
And how I haven’t worn them for awhile…..
READ the FREAKING California
Earthquake Preparedness Pamphlet, people!
It gets you ready for THE BIG ONE.
Yunno, the BIG O! No, no, no, not
THAT
Big O ( yes, I am DEFINITELY a fan, but that’s another blog). I’m talking about the huge ass mutha’ of all
earthquakes - the one that’s gonna split California in half and
send us packing into the cold, cold Pacific.
To wit: Section1234.56A states that one should pack
an extra pair of glasses in the old earthquake kit. God forbid that your personal stash of
contact lens cleaner ends up in the totally demolished bathroom while your sorry ass sits in the pup tent
outside hoarding water, matches and Beanie Weenies - blind as a bat because
you FINALLY had to rip the dry, crusty contacts from your eyes after 3
days. Why not just pack contact lens
solution in the preparedness kit? The pamphlet
helpfully pointed out that these products expire and hard plastic glasses do
not.
Made sense to me! And since control, worry and fear were my
favorite companions, I made a beeline to Costco, found the CHEAPEST pair of
ugly ass glasses on the wall, gave them my prescription and waited for the
friendly Costco peeps to call me when they were ready.
The day arrived, and I
cheerfully arrived at the Costco. I
patiently went through the whole sitting with the technician routine, even though I didn’t care a fig about proper fit, blah, blah,
blah. The technician hemmed and hawed,
readjusted, fidgeted and then FINALLY pulled back and looked at me, clearly
distressed.
“Ummm, have you looked at
some of the other frames we have? I have
to be honest. This look is not a good
one.”
I then explained the purpose of the glasses and she breathed a BIG sigh of relief and gave me a sheepish grin.
I then explained the purpose of the glasses and she breathed a BIG sigh of relief and gave me a sheepish grin.
“Oh, I feel so much
better! I just COULDN’T let you walk
around wearing these.”
We both laughed, and I
happily (And carefully) drove home to complete my official CALIFORNIA
EARTHQUAKE PREPAREDNESS KIT.
Only the glasses did not stay
there. Weekends would roll around, and
putting on contacts to schlep to Vons seemed so silly when I could just slip on
the dorky earthquake specs. . And pretty
soon, I started wearing them the whole weekend. Seriously, I wore those ugly,
freaky glasses out in public! What? Yes, really!
One week, I even brought them
home on vacation to Oklahoma. I wore them in front of my lifelong
friends! They all laughed at my dork
glasses - especially when I told them how it came to be that I was wearing the
world’s UGLIEST glasses. Yet, because
they were my friends, they actually grew to love me in my scaredy cat dork
glasses. They actually complained when I
stopped wearing them!
I DID stop wearing them. Because they
represented control and fear. I started
to realize that those two things needed to go away in my life; that shedding those negative qualities, like the glasses, was an important step in being a better person….And I
stopped worrying about things I could not control. Well, mostly! I fight hard to make that part stay under wraps.. I don’t EVEN pretend that I have an
earthquake kit. Stupid, I know, but for
me, necessary to just roll with it and hopefully dig out to the other side.
Hey! I’m gonna’ get my dork glasses back out. And I’m going to rock that dork look HARD! Deep down inside, I STILL have a tiny bit of the controlling, fearful dork, but I can pick and choose when and where I let my little freak flag fly - just like the glasses!
Here’s to my friend, for teaching me that confidence in who you are is what matters most. ….No Photoshop, no retouching, just honesty and reality. It is then that you are truly beautiful…
Hey! I’m gonna’ get my dork glasses back out. And I’m going to rock that dork look HARD! Deep down inside, I STILL have a tiny bit of the controlling, fearful dork, but I can pick and choose when and where I let my little freak flag fly - just like the glasses!
Here’s to my friend, for teaching me that confidence in who you are is what matters most. ….No Photoshop, no retouching, just honesty and reality. It is then that you are truly beautiful…
So as I am reading the only thing I can think of is the 32 gallon trash can I bought for my earthquake kit and the fact I don't even have a pair of dork glasses in case there is the BIG ONE and my cool glasses get crushed by some dork running in a panic. Sooooo-the 32 gallon trash can -aka Earthquake Kit now holds old motorcycle parts and a big plastic dragon waiting for Jack to come and visit!!!
ReplyDeleteHa! Would that happen to be the plastic dragon that growls? I LOVE you, Randee! You make me happy when you lose your keys. Because it makes me not feel so bad about losing shit.
ReplyDeleteSaint Jude of Thadeus, please come 'round
Something is lost and cannot be found.
Oh, THERE are my keys.. In the freezer. Where they should be! *laughing
Firstly...Thank you for sharing. Two things you said are so important. Control (dont even try) and truth (that definitely will set you free) Plato..."To seek the truth in each thing, is to become a lover of wisdom and not opinion". Keep on moving Susie, sounds like you are pretty dam well prepared.
ReplyDelete